The Dark Parade

[Music]

Hello everyone. It is I, your pal Bo. And uh it's time yet again uh to add to our list to rank another ten films.

Um...

It has been uh a little while in the the time since we last did this. Uh school has ended. Give me a little more time to focus.

And that's alright. That feels good. Um but uh yeah, so doing more stuff, more more more stuff coming out on uh

the old feed here for uh for the dark parade. Uh big shout out.

to uh our our heroic leader.

um for taking care of some business with the website and making sure that the feeds were still up and everything. So uh we are uh in great hands and that's that's

Um, okay, so let's get to uh our business. I'm gonna try to make this uh a little shorter than it was last time.

Um'cause that did seem uh you know a little

Right. Uh that took a couple hours. Hopefully this will not take as long. I, you know, as always, uh I go into this.

with no preconceptions. I really have not thought about it, uh what the list is gonna look like up until now.

Um so yeah, so it i in that way, uh it's very fun.

uh to to approach these movies as if like, hey, this is we're just we're just going after it, man. Uh whatever happens, happens. Uh so here we are. Let's do it. Um

Okay, okay. Um let's start with uh our first film available on Shudder. Uh There we go.

Um the stone tape.

Uh the first thing on the list. Oh, you know what I didn't do? Is let's before we get into that, uh here's the list. Uh just to catch us all up, right? Uh number one, the haunting from uh nineteen sixty three.

Uh Stone Cold Classic, terrific movie.

Um The omen behind that, the innkeepers, near dark, late night with the devil uh rounding out the top five, uh b the bottom three, uh Lost Voyage.

Uh not a very good movie, Gods of the Deep, uh even worse, and Unknown Visitor somehow worse than that.

Uh the question is, do we get a new number one? Do we get a new number thirty? Uh we will have number thirty by the end of this, so uh anyway, back to uh our business at hand.

Uh the stone tape. Uh like I said it's available on Shutter, uh a BBC product.

Uh very much a um i man, it is BBC to its core, and I mean that in the best possible way. Uh it is a very cozy kind of ghost.

Uh even though it's got a little bit of bite.

Uh it's a little bit nasty, but the the long and short of it, if you have never seen the Stone Tale.

Uh, is that uh it's a a a company that's trying to find a new method of recording data.

Because they're like, uh, this analog tape it's just it's limited, it's never gonna work. Uh the Japanese are gonna eat her lunch, lot of lot of thinly veiled racism going on.

uh about how like Hirohito is coming for our storage and and whatnot. It's it's that part of it not great, uh admittedly, in uh in in the year of our Lord twenty twenty four. A little bit unfortunate.

Um but that said.

Um there is a lot of good. Uh it it a as they're pursuing this research, they're they're doing it in this kind of remote estate.

And there is a room in the estate that seems to be kind of haunted. And in fact, one of the researchers very early on is like, hey, I totally clocked a ghost.

In this room.

And it we are th this is no good.

Um, we are in in real bad shape. We I I need to get out of here. And they're like, No, no, no, no, no.

Uh it you it's probably your imagination. But it doesn't take long, to the movie's credit, it doesn't take long for them to get around to the idea that, oh, this really is haunted, and not only is it haunted, there's like a real potential here.

for research and to kind of learn uh w like what what is going on with uh said haunting.

And uh yeah, so that part of it's really interesting. Like they they they take the idea of the haunting and they're like, well, how can we use this to our advantage?

uh in some ways and also how can we kind of learn about it and and they decide ultimately well these are just events that are recorded to the stone itself And and you know, they however, and that's what we've got to figure out, because if we can harness this, then we can, you know

Uh we can use this uh for all kinds of applications and we'll lead the industry in in storage of data and and so forth. Uh we'll change the world.

But in the process, you know, uh the the they mis uh misapprehend, they underestimate what is going on, and one of the uh one of the the the full uh the young woman involved is like you know, the thing that would be horrible here is if

the ghost were conscious. And they're like, nah, no, no, no, this is just recorded death.

Uh, but ultimately there is an answer to that question, which is a pretty nasty one, as you would imagine. And uh I won't spoil it more for you, but it's a it it's a really good, efficient ghost story, you know? Um

It it it it's a fun watch. It

you know, definitely very seventies, which is both charming and also you should know what to expect. Like the effects are non existent when they are around

It's not great, you know. Um but it's fine, it's fine in in the service of the story.

Um but yeah, I really I I really like

Um I think the stone tape is is very good. The performances overall are pretty good. It feels like you're watching a stage play uh oftentimes, but it's good.

Um and and it has got like I said, kind of a nasty ending. It it's got it's got some teeth to

Uh not as good as say like a ghost watch, which is not on our list. Uh that is not where we will start.

But it is uh uh you know, in that in that vein. You know, Ghostwatch has a little bit more uh English on the ball. Uh but this uh stone tape is i is pretty good. If you haven't seen it, like I said, it's on

It's on shutter. Uh but now uh w we come to the the hard part. We gotta we gotta put this in some kind of order. And um so let's

Let's get to it. I'm gonna take one second here. Just make sure that I'm Oh hey, there's Joseph. Um catching up to the chat here. Um

Also reiterating that he enjoys the old school BBC stuff. Of course. How do you not? How do you not? The old school BBC stuff is really good.

Uh there's a lot I haven't seen um from that ilk, and there there's a couple uh what is the whistling one with John Hurt? That I need to I need to watch that one. Um at any rate.

Um so where does it fall on the list? Let's let's look at this. Is it

It's I uh so I think it's better than than a house. Certainly better than an Amityville 2. Um Is it it's hmm wow, we may have landed on this fast.

It it I think it's better than house. It's a little more coherent and it's a little more interesting and a little more fully formed in its themed themes and a and

ideas not to get highfalutin about it, but we're doing science here, people, and so this is the science. Um so it's a little bit better than House in that regard. Is it is it better than Xcross?

X Cross is a little bit messier, that's sh that's for sure. It's it's pretty outrageous. Um it never ceases to entertain. It's probably

Hmm. All right. Is is it better than X Cross?

I think it packs a little bit more of a punch. Yeah, okay, so yes, yes. I think the third act is good enough. Uh, that it's a little bit better than X Cross. I

I no, I don't think it's as good as late night with the devil. And and I mean not just think, I'm saying scientifically speaking.

it i it is not as good as late night with the the devil. So um okay, okay. So let's do uh the stone tape right here.

And let's just take a peek at it, make sure that all this looks on the up and up. Um

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Uh right, right, also uh w well spoken. It's uh uh is it Nigel Neal? Is that right? Um at any rate.

And thanks for the happy end of the school year. I appreciate it. Um all right, keeping with uh or actually sort of uh introducing um our next big theme uh for this episode.

Uh we're we're gonna be talking about some some creepy crawlies. Uh and so we're gonna start with Bug.

Uh the William Friedkin film, which uh just dropped if if you listen to the episode. Uh Heart of Horror just dropped with Kate Bollock and I talking about the movie Bug along with uh various other things. Um

And and Bug is a really interesting movie. It is, you know, certainly psychological horror, you can make the argument. Uh that's not horror, but if not that, then what, I would argue.

Um, it's kind of psychosexual horror if you ask me. Um, very Cronenbergian, one might say. But all right, so if you if you didn't listen to the Heart of Horror episode, um

Uh th so it the the whole deal is that the like Ashley Judd is way down our like she's a mother, they've lost a child, her ex husband is Harry Connick Jr. who shows up to

man, really try to go toe to toe with some good actors and maybe doesn't always uh make it. But um uh while Ashley Judd is living kind of in this

motel uh doing waitressing work and calling FBI agents about have you seen my child? Where do you think my child is? And they're like, look man, we just don't

There are no leads. We're working on it. We're doing what we can, but there's just there's nothing.

Uh, which is really heartbreaking. It's a heartbreaking idea, and Ashley Judd is just defeated as a person, and into her life, unfortunately, walks Michael Shannon, who is just

Yeah like a psychotic. He's he's uh schizophrenic.

Um or he's bipolar or something. I don't know that we ever get the exact diagnosis, but he's on medication. He's just off it in this movie. And um it's it's just a descent in a madness.

You know, it's it's Michael Shannon. Uh we talk about it on the show, the the idea of like Faliadu, this idea that there's this shared delusion between Michael Shannon and and Ashley Judd in the film.

of these bugs that live under the skin, but maybe uh in fact it's, you know, we are the bugs and the bugs are our children and you know, people are getting murdered and the whole place is just papered with aluminum foil by the end of things and

Uh you know, I talked about it on the show, but one of my favorite things in the world uh is the the bit in this movie where the helicopters are going overhead and they're just thunderous and the camera's shaking inside the motel room and like

The things are just rattling on the walls and you cut outside the motel and just this distance like before.

You know, this very mild, innocuous sound of a helicopter in the distance. And I r I really adore that uh that that

You know, Freakin's great at at uh uh directing, I was gonna say. That's a real stupid thing to say. No, he's great at capturing Fre go a hot take Ransel over here. Um you know, William Freakin, pretty good director. Billy Freekin, we call him.

Uh, fantastic uh director, except when he wasn't. Um uh but anyway. Um But yeah, he's great at kind of showing uh their their perception just being so skewed by their their shared insanity and so forth and it's uh

Oh, it's just the best. And apologies for the uh for the dog barking, but they're you know, what you gonna do?

Uh, I'm sure that somebody's mowing their yard three houses down. Um, and we've gotta defend our property. Um

So uh so that is kind of the premise of Bug. Um it another movie that just ends terribly, as you would imagine.

Like this does not go well for anyone. Um but yeah, it it it's a terrific movie. It's a terrific movie. Um all right, so again, let's let's not screw around here.

Let's get to the list. Um and let's talk about where does Bug live on this list? Uh

We're geez dogs. Um Okay, certainly all right, look, we're we're talking upper definitely better than X Cross.

Um definitely better than the Stone Tape. Definitely better than Late Night with the Devil. The Deville.

Is it better than near dark? I mean, uh, you know, we've talked about this before. The big problem uh barking dogs don't bite indeed. Um Uh okay.

Near Dark, the the problem we've talked about before with Near Dark is that the leads are not great.

The side characters are way more interesting. It's stylish as hell. Uh, but so is Bug. Bug's got a a ton of style. It's it's different, and it's grimmer, and it's more industrial and all that, but it's got style.

Um, okay.

Um

Pause this one second. Alright. I'm gonna try to bring bring them in here and see how that goes. So again, apologies for the interruptions. Uh alright, where were we? Near dark. Is it better or worse than near dark?

Um

Uh it's gotta be the neighbor dog. Again, apologies. Uh let me just shut this door. Give me two seconds.

Okay. I just shut the door. Sorry again about all that, folks. Uh all right. Near dark. Back uh back again with the near dark stuff.

Um Josephari chiming in saying that he thinks it is I agree.

Is it better than the innkeepers?

Is it better than the Endkeepers? The Innkeepers is a real good goddamn ghost story. Um I think it is b better than the innkeepers.

But that's where this train's gonna stop. We are not we are not better than the omen.

Um

Alright. Alright. Bug landing that's way higher than I expected bug to go, but I I feel like that's right. I feel like that's right.

Um okay.

Uh next on the list. Uh ruthless. Ruthless efficiency today. Next on the list. Abigail.

Okay. Abigail, if you haven't seen it yet, recent release. A couple of these are are fairly recent releases you'll find. Um

Abigail is uh the story. If you've seen a trailer at all, I'm gonna slightly spoil a thing, but it's kind of the hook of the movie.

Um and it and it's all over the press. It's all over the you know, fucking poster for that matter. Um

[Silence]

Okay. Um It is uh a bunch of people kidnapping a young girl.

To uh, you know, extort money out of some unknown party. Like they don't know who these parties are. They are hired to do a job. They kidnap this young girl, take her back to a house.

And then realize that what they have done is they have kidnapped a vampire.

That's the setup. That is the whole movie, in fact. Acts one, two, three, right there.

Um a loose remake of Dracula's daughter, says Lee Russell. Um and also says that it was hella fun. And I will concur.

Uh, this movie is crazy fun. Um and all right, so here are the things that are great about.

Huh. First of all, it gets right to it. Like you start with, hey, we are in the middle of this kid.

uh very lethal weapon to kind of opening. If you recall the lethal weapon to opening, it is

just, you know, hammering on the ceiling in Medias Res of a police chase. And it's that kind of Uh not not quite that caliber of of kinetic energy at the opening of this.

But it really is like, hey, we are moving. We will we'll get to introductions in a minute, but all you need to know is they are here to kidnap this girl, they kidnap the girl, and then we'll introduce people later.

And they do it in a really clever way because essentially this is a one-setting kind of movie. It's just once they are in this house, they're in this.

And uh

To keep that fresh and to keep that interesting, you have to like the characters and as well as be inventive with how you're using that space. And you do. Like th this does an aliens caliber good job.

of very quickly letting you know who everyone is and and letting you know why you should care about them or why you should think they're a piece of shit and that whatever comes to them is not good enough and

uh uh all of that. Um one of the characters, kind of the the big ringleader of this team, is played by Dan Stevens, who is just

doing a heroic job. Like, man, that guy is a terrific character actor. Um and and Lee points out like throwing a little bit of usual suspects. And that's kind of what I was getting at with these characters. They're they're all a little

A little bit CD, but some are kinda likable and CD and some are just kind of shit heels and

Uh and that's great. It makes for uh uh good interactions.

Um and and they're, you know, for being a very brief movie, it's not a su uh a super long film. Um and and it's got a a a stat cast uh that really propels everything forward. It's a quick watch.

Uh it gets bloody, it's it's it does fun stuff with the idea of vampirism and

Um, you know, it's not just lazy trope after lazy trope. It it it kind of

not necessarily blazes new territory, but but certainly tweaks things and uses things the way that it wants. Um and it's got a a real uh

you know, satisfying conclusion. Um, you the the real complaints are that it it it's not aiming super high, like it's not a heady film, you know? Like there is some stuff about family and and

sacrifice and all of those things and and being able to uh uh mend fences with parents and children and there's some thematic stuff going on but it's

superficial stuff. It like this is not

uh you know, the the kind of movie you're gonna write a thesis about unless you're just talking about like really rad vampire movies. If that were your thesis then yeah. Um

Yeah, the the uh you know great uh great vampire deaths as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's super good. Uh b Abigail is a lot of fun. It's a great popcorn movie, it's a good uh like

Weirdly, kind of a four-quadrant sort of film. The villains are obvious, but that's fine. And uh anyway, it's it's it's really good. So where where does it fall on?

Um okay. Let's get it. Uh Abigail. Um I think we you know we can certainly say it's better than house.

Uh it is y it is more consistently satisfying than X cross.

Uh it the production value alone would put it ahead of the stone tape.

uh more satisfying conclusion than late night with the devil, although, you know, similar kinds of fun to be had, certain kind kinds of uh uh uh

Ironic tone at times. Um

All right, once again, here we are. Is is Abigail better than near dark? Vampire V vampire.

Uh and and once more, this kind of comes down to character.

Uh I I think that

Uh the characters in Abigail are better overall than the characters in Near Dark. It doesn't have nearly the style and it doesn't have the soundtrack.

But if you ask me which movie uh I would recommend to someone, especially someone who maybe was not steeped in horror and was willing to forgive you know, the sins of a movie like Near Dark, uh, which almost feels like an art piece as opposed to a really

Great narrative. Um it's very good. I mean, again, it's top five uh at present, but I, you know, I I think that Abigail, when we look at the science.

Just speaking purely scientifically, uh Abigail is a better movie than uh Near Dark. Um it is not, however, better than the end.

Let's not be foolish. Let's not be crazy.

Um the innkeepers is playing in some of those headier territories.

And is playing with mood is similar in a lot of ways, you know, that single location kind of film. But the Innkeepers, where uh Abigail is fun and sloppy and silly, the Innkeepers is elegant.

and cold and somehow more horrifying for all of that. Uh so let's do uh is that the nope nope nope that is not That Uh all right.

Abigail

Now a top five horror film. And honestly, I don't I don't feel bad about that. I don't feel bad about that at all. Um I think that is uh is not a bad way to live.

Uh especially on this list that is only uh twenty-three films long at present. That that is a perfectly fine uh top five film.

Uh all right. Let's do it. Let's talk about it. Immaculate uh near a creepy nor a crawly to be had in this one. We'll get to that uh here in just a minute.

Instead, what you've got is a Sydney Sweeney. Uh and what is Kind of Rosemary's baby in a convent, kind of.

Sort of. Uh so Sidney Sweeney is uh an American who travels to this uh nunnery, uh, which is fun to say. You know, uh I like Hamlet.

And so uh Sydney Sweeney gets thee to a nunnery.

And there uh she uh is is is met with some strange characters folks.

uh some sisters who seem a little uh a little off putting, a little brusque, a little rude, uh a little a little skeptical of her dedication in being uh at this storied nunnery.

Uh but she does uh meet a friend as well who's a little more like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, these bitches be crazy. I'm your pal. I'm the one you can you can turn to. And so Sydney Sweeney, uh it turns out comes up pregnant.

And she's never had sex before, like she's taken her vow, she's an honest to goodness nun. Um And uh and and that is the mystery at the heart of this film, uh, in which she tries to determine uh the source.

of this uh pregnancy because she knows better than anyone that she did not have any of the sex.

Uh but they're you know, she is being treated uh because they have kind of proven like, oh yeah, she's still a virgin.

Um and so therefore uh this must be an immaculate conception. We mu we might very well in fact be dealing uh with the the new son of God.

Um but of course things are not all that they seem because it's a horror movie called Immaculate and if you look at the lettering.

Like that there. It's uh it's all in red, and that can't be good. Uh so yeah, bad things happen. Uh so uh Joseph pointed out. He says uh he've heard he've he's heard that this is kind of nuts.

I am not terribly familiar with Sydney Sweeney. The first time I think I've ever seen her in.

was when uh she hosted Saturday night.

And I thought Um she seems like she's having fun and she's of course very pretty.

Uh but I know her like she wasn't great on SNL. Um so I went into this uh again, fairly neutral on the Sydney Sweeney thing. Um I don't think she's

I don't I don't know that she's right for this part. It's not that I think she's a bad actress, and in fact She she swings for it, and there are some scenes in this movie where she fucking gets there.

And and so I like I'm of two minds about her performance in this movie because in the like day-to-day the calmer stuff almost where she's just talking, maybe, maybe Sydney Sweetie is the Nicolas Cage of young actresses.

Where when she's being nuts, I'm totally into what she's doing and I believe her as a performer. But when she's just talking to regular people, th I don't buy it as much.

And so maybe maybe she's too good for this kind of, you know, uh dialogue.

Um yeah, and Lee says that m Madam Webb uh didn't end her career, so that's something. Um Yeah, and so this is all

to say that I think that there's a real mixed bag with the performance and also the tone just is all over the place. Like this is a real mess of a movie at times.

Um it it's a little bit Suspiria. It's a little bit Rosemary's baby.

It I mean, there's just a lot of moving parts and a lot of things that it's drawing from and and

uh certainly d you know, tipping its hat to to be charitable, ripping off if I'm want to be uncharitable about it, but you know, that's just art, right? Like you're stealing the stuff that

And uh and and so I don't really fault the film for that. And it does go to some crazy places, but there are also times where I think it it it takes too long to get to those places. Um and it It's not great.

But it's a movie that like if you were just asking me, should I see Immaculate, that'd be like

You there are things that you need to see in Immaculate. There are things to be seen. Um and and the last sixty seconds of the movie is just like man I wish all of the movie were this like stretched out more uh but it's but there there's

It's problematic. It's not a great movie, but it there there are things about it. It is not totally without many.

Um and and I think Sydney Sweeney as a performer is also not totally without merit. Uh I I just I need to see her in the right thing. I don't think this is the right role. I need her to be even crazier.

You know, like her going for it is the right speed for her. Um so at any rate, let's let's get to some good old fashioned ranking here. Um where does Immaculate land?

uh on the list. Where where does this thing show up? Um

Okay, uh I think we can start a little further down here. Better or worse than the exorcist believer.

It is It is better than the Exorcist Believer.

Is it better or worse than Terrornet? Oh, it is definitely better than TerrorNet.

Uh better or worse than the cleansing hour. The cleansing hour I think might be more It might be more uniformly okay.

You know, like like the the cleansing hour doesn't have a lot of dizzying highs, but it doesn't have a lot of lows. It's a real mid-tier kind of horror movie.

Immaculate definitely has some lows, but it has some highs. And I think the highs inch it over the cleansing hour. Um what about we're still here?

We are still here has great ghosts.

Also very derivative. Also a little dull.

What would I rather watch? I would I would probably I think that the places Immaculate goes

Make it better than we are still here. And

Uh I I uh yes. Okay, okay, I'm okay with that. Sweet Home though. I w we've talked about how Sweet Home is kind of a niche film. This whole business about it inspiring.

uh uh uh Resident Evil, uh the game uh for Sweet Home, inspiring Resident Evil and all that. But the the fact of the matter is Sweet Home is more consistently in

Uh and certainly Immaculate is no Amityville 2 to possession. It like there are things that you should see in Immaculate. There are things you can't unsee in Amityville 2.

Uh so I think what we're talking about here is

Is uh new number thirteen being immaculate. Um all right. All right.

Um now let's get to the business of

uh the creepies and the crawlies. We're gonna we're gonna do a stretch of these intermittently. There's gonna be some stuff in the middle, but uh intermittently. Okay. Um

Infested. Uh a a a movie on the shutter. It is a French film.

Um the the whole idea is that uh there's this uh spider that ends up uh being trafficked

into um uh you know uh where's this uh Paris, I guess. And um

Yeah, they get loose in an apartment building. Uh it's just one at first, but then of course it kind of mutates and then more spiders uh are are set loose. Um

It's uh it like and that that's kind of it. You got a bunch of characters in an apartment building. We're gonna talk about another movie in a little bit that's very similar to this.

And despite the fact that one is in French and one is in English, uh I am trying to keep the the two films distinct in my head. Um The um uh Joseph saying reminded you of of Rex.

Um I can see that. All right. Yeah, I'm with ya. Uh Yes, it it it's a little bit wrecked.

Um a little bit of arachnophobia, obviously.

Um and the the thing that I like about the movie is that it it does a great job of establishing characters and You know, the main character, it he's kind of the reason that all of this goes down in a way that's not

like very heroic. So he does have a nice redemption arc through this story. Um and there's some pretty

Uh some pretty gnarly stuff with the spiders like coming out of people and whatnot. Uh that stuff is pretty good.

Um at the end of the day, I would argue it is it is it is just fine.

Uh, I would not say it is super memorable. It is a movie that I will remember that I have seen. But um

Yeah, all right, so Lee's pointing out spiders aren't overly big. I do like that. The hallway scene's very, very good. Um but overall I feel like it doesn't It doesn't really uh uh uh

separate itself from uh these kinds of movies. And like I said, we're gonna I I think that in talking about this it falls short of one that we're gonna talk about in a little bit. Um So I'm a little cooler on it because of that.

But I do think it's uh like again.

If you ask me as a human being, as a person

Roaming the planet Earth. Should I watch the movie Infested? Absolutely. Especially if you uh don't care for spiders. It's got some good creepy moments that totally work. You should absolutely watch Infested.

Now, when it comes to ranking it on a list of the greatest horror films of all time, which is the business we are up to here.

Um where does it fall on such a list? Okay, let's look. Uh all right, let's start with our pal Exorcist Believer.

Definitely better than that. Better than Terranet.

Better than the cleansing hour. Ooh, have we stalled that quickly? Is it better than we are still here?

I f I don't think it is. I think th the ghosts alone are more striking.

in we are still here then yeah I I think that is where I think that's where we we stall.

I think infested I i is totally good.

not gonna not gonna creep up too much higher on the list. But um, you know, if the cleansing hour is kind of our our baseline in a lot of ways of this is perfectly acceptable horror entertainment.

Which i is sort of how it's turning out. Um it is definitely better than that. Definitely better than that.

Uh alright, alright, good. Let's keep it moving. And and honestly, uh let's let's do it with

A really bad arachnophobia poster. But let's talk about it. Let's do arachnophobia. Uh after watching Infested.

Um then I I like you gotta go back to the source, right? Like where is the water? Uh sorry, I've been rewatching Twin Peaks season three and and suddenly went to a You know, here is the water, uh here is the well, drink deep and descend.

Uh but Arachnophobia is the well from which a lot of other films like

And and I mean, this wasn't the first Spiny Stretch. Like I think my love of Kingdom of the Spiders, which almost got watched as well, but didn't. Um

I I like the I love that movie. I and I and for many of the same reasons, I like Arachnophobia. Um it is not a perfect film by any stretch.

Uh, there are things about it. And and I this also goes into the

Uh the Abigail kind of thing of like, this isn't a deep movie. This is popcorn horror. This is PG thirteen. Let's g everybody uh can come to the theater and get creeped out by these spiders. That is the point of arachnophobia.

Um, it does have really good Jeff Daniels.

Uh who's always great.

And um a pretty fun opening scene where, you know, the researcher or the the photographer is following Julian Sands, the researcher, you know, R.I.P., Riston Power, Julian Sands.

Um following him all the way to uh

you know, h his work basically crop dusting a tree and bottling all the things that come out. And in the process he ends up capturing this

awful spider that kills you right away and it it it's super smart everyone. This spider is a genius. A genius.

Uh up there with another spider we'll talk about later, but that one makes a little more sense.

This is just a super smart spider for no good reason, other than, you know, that's how they grow'em, you know, in South America, I guess. Um okay.

So Anyway.

This thing hitches a ride with a corpse back to this little town where Jeff Daniels has moved to become the local town doctor. Trouble is the old man that was gonna retire didn't in a very Joe Biden-esque move.

uh decides like, nah, nah, nah, I I'm gonna keep all my patience and you moved here for nothing.

Uh, so Jeff Daniels is like trying to get in with the community, and uh, you know, some people start throwing him some work.